Chapter 5

Crisis (2)

Contrary to the notice posted by the head administrator, the gallery had a few unspoken rules.

No matter how difficult someone's circumstances were or how pitiful their story sounded, never help them carelessly.

Even if someone was injured, never rush to help them.

The reason these rules came into existence was very simple.

Title: Fking Scammer Bastard**

(Photo of a sickly young girl lying in bed)

You all know this picture, right? It's that registered user who said his daughter had an incurable disease and begged everyone to help him.

Turns out this bastard was abusing his own daughter and deliberately starving her. ;;

Then he claimed he had no money and begged for donations, so I supported him, only to get scammed.

└ That's roughly what happened. Hang in there.

└ Wild Grylls) Thanks for the f**king exposition, asshole.

└ Why are you making such a big deal out of this?

└ Even a potion would have trouble healing wounds that bad, wouldn't it? There's also a risk of infection.

└ Wild Grylls) Then what should I do?

└ Cut it off.

└ That's f**king extreme. Lmao.

"F**k."

I understood their reasoning, but it was still a shitty rule. I spat out a curse.

You could say I had let my guard down. I had been so exhausted that I closed my eyes for just a moment, and this was what happened.

Fortunately, it had bitten my arm instead of my throat. I had used that opportunity to cut the beast's head off with my sword.

'Should I just cut it off?'

I stared at my mangled right arm. It was riddled with puncture wounds and had also been badly torn apart.

That son of a bitch had bitten down on my arm and violently shaken its head. I had barely stopped it from ripping my arm off completely.

'I need to stop the bleeding.'

I looked around the cave. Since it had been used by wild dogs, there wasn't much inside.

There were only bones that presumably belonged to other animals. I should have seen this coming after finding those.

'Should I sell the sword for now?'

I felt truly sorry toward the Heavenly Demon, but I was in a situation where I might have to sell the sword and use the money to obtain medicine.

My life was in immediate danger. The gallery didn't seem willing to help me, either.

Identifying myself? Who would believe me if I said I came from another world? They would just treat me like a lunatic.

For now, making a trade was my best option. Suppressing the burning pain in my arm, I searched through the comments.

'Let's find a registered user first. Who should I choose...?'

[SwordMaster has requested a trade. Would you like to accept?]

It happened while I was hesitating and dripping with cold sweat. A trade request suddenly appeared.

It came from the registered user who constantly gave bizarre advice and was also an industrious madman.

For a moment, I wondered why this person was helping me. Then another wave of pain surged through my right arm, and I hurriedly accepted.

[SwordMaster: You're the person who injured their arm, right?]

[Wild Grylls: Yes.]

[SwordMaster: I'll give you a potion. Apply it to the wound and you should be fine.]

[SwordMaster has registered an item for trade.]

[SwordMaster: You don't have to give me anything in return, so hurry up and take it.]

A wingless angel was right here!

After a brief moment of emotion, I immediately completed the trade.

I closed the gallery and looked at the ground. Whenever a trade was completed, the item would usually appear on the floor.

'...What is this?'

I blinked.

Inside a small cylindrical glass bottle was a liquid that glowed golden.

At least it definitely wasn't anything strange. It didn't sparkle like starlight, for one thing.

Before I could even wonder what it was, I picked up the bottle.

With one arm ruined, even removing the cap was an ordeal.

Splash—

"Aaaaaaargh...!"

Even though I had taken a deep breath before pouring it on, it stung like hell. Tears instantly welled up in my eyes.

You might say that a grown man shouldn't scream over something like this, but fuck, it hurt so badly I thought I was going to die.

It was roughly five times more painful than applying cauterizing medicine to a mouth ulcer. The injured area was much larger, too.

"Ughhh... Oh, ooh?!"

Still, its effectiveness was equal to or perhaps even greater than that medicine.

In other words, it healed quickly. The puncture wounds riddling my arm closed in an instant.

I hadn't been able to completely wash away the blood, but I could clean it later.

"Whoa..."

I moved my restored right arm around in every direction. It had healed perfectly.

Not only had it recovered, but it even felt sturdier than before. I could only describe it as a miracle.

After a brief moment of amazement, I immediately connected to the gallery again.

Title: Is SwordMaster a God?

(Photo of an unharmed right arm)
(Photo of a glass bottle containing golden liquid)

Is SwordMaster a god? Is SwordMaster a god? Is SwordMaster a god? Is SwordMaster a god?

I would like to express my gratitude to Lord SwordMaster for granting me a new arm. By the way, what is this yellow liquid?

└ Oh? Your arm is completely healed? Lmao.

└ I was about to give you something too. Too bad.

└ Bullshit. Lmao.

└ What the hell did he give you to completely heal an arm that had been torn apart?

I stared at the golden liquid remaining in the bottle. About one-third of it was left. I had saved it just in case.

└ SwordMaster) It's nothing special. I just received it as a gift from my boss, I guess? I have plenty at home.

└ Wild Grylls) So what's it called?

└ SwordMaster) An elixir. Oh, and since there's still a risk of infection, you should drink the rest.

└ Wild Grylls) Yes, sir!

Following SwordMaster's advice, I drank everything that remained.

It had a strangely familiar taste, with a fizzy sensation like carbonation.

You know that orange-flavored medicine you used to drink whenever you got sick as a child? It tasted similar to that.

└ An elixir? You gave him an elixir?

└ Come on, don't bullshit us. Why would you give him that?

└ An elixir really was the only solution, though.

└ Just how rich is this guy? He received that as a gift from his boss?

Good point. I was curious about that too.

The gallery's reaction was strange. Everyone was losing their minds over it.

Puzzled, I posted another question.

└ Wild Grylls) I'm kind of an idiot, so is an elixir expensive?

└ Of course it's expensive. ;;

└ Even the lowest-grade elixir costs about as much as one month of living expenses for an ordinary family.

└ Wild Grylls) I don't know how much that is.

└ He really was an idiot.

└ Lmaoooo.

└ Wild Grylls) Excuse me, but is there anything I can do for you?

└ SwordMaster) Become strong and marry me.

└ Wild Grylls) Wha...?

└ Lmaoooo, look how flustered he is.

└ This bastard proposes to everyone who shows even the slightest potential. Lmao.

Ah, right.

SwordMaster wasn't exactly a normal person either.

I suddenly felt strangely deflated.

At least I understood that elixirs were expensive. They weren't all absurdly costly simply because they were called elixirs, though. Apparently, their value depended on the ingredients.

The better the ingredients were, the more intense the golden glow became, but I didn't really understand any of that.

There was only one thing I knew for certain.

I owed SwordMaster my life.

He wanted to repay the favor somehow.

'I should be the one receiving help right now, not repaying anyone...'

Still, I should at least leave a comment. The least I could do was express my gratitude.

└ SwordMaster) I was kidding. Just read my posts from the beginning. They'll help you.

└ I don't know about anything else, but this guy's posts are genuinely useful. Read them no matter what.

└ Seriously, they're top-tier.

└ The Empire's in tears. Lmao.

"Are they really that good?"

Since I still didn't understand how this world worked, it didn't really sink in.

Even so, I owed him a debt of gratitude, so it was only right to do as he asked. It would be rude not to.

Besides, the only weapon I had was a sword. If I wanted to make proper use of it, reading his posts was probably a good idea.

└ Don'tAbandonTheHero) Ah...! It looks like everything got resolved while I was asleep! That's a relief!

└ The sucker has arrived!

└ Oh, the sucker's here.

└ Don'tAbandonTheHero) I'll delete the post with your injury in a minute! It was way too gruesome!

Just as things had finally settled down, the head admin appeared. Everyone immediately started teasing them, calling them a sucker.

Wondering why they kept calling the admin that, I tilted my head. Another user quickly explained.

└ Grylls, whatever you do, don't take advantage of the head admin.

└ Wild Grylls) Why? What happened?

└ They can't say no whenever someone asks for help. They'll agree to anything like a complete pushover.

└ Didn't they once give away their entire fortune because of that?

└ Though, to be fair, their entire fortune was only ten gold. Lmao.

"So they really are a pushover."

They were genuinely too kind. Now I understood.

Of course, that didn't mean I was going to ask the head admin for anything.

Even if I did, I'd make it a fair trade. I had a conscience too.

'If I find any medicinal herbs later, I'll give them to SwordMaster.'

For now, it was time to clean up.

I dragged away the dog's corpse, which was still bleeding warmly.

The smell of blood might attract other beasts, so I also needed to block the cave entrance.

'I'll stay here until the Heavenly Demon comes back with the rest.'

After carrying the corpse a fair distance away, I gathered nearby rocks and sealed the entrance.

Once I finished cleaning up, I opened my bundle of provisions.

It was the same food I'd eaten before going to sleep.

"No matter how I look at it, this thing looks exactly like a rice ball."

The size certainly matched one.

The taste didn't.

I shoved the rice-ball-sized lump into my mouth and forced myself to chew while making the ugliest face imaginable.

Did the Heavenly Demon really consider this food?

The sharp aroma of medicinal herbs pierced my nose.

And the taste?

Absolutely awful.

Bitter beyond belief.

There wasn't even the slightest hint of sweetness.

"Well... at least it's food."

I'd have to ask the Heavenly Demon later.

Just what the hell had he made this out of for it to taste this terrible?

Strangely enough, it didn't make my throat feel dry.

It was simply unbelievably disgusting.

After finishing the entire thing, I leaned back against the cave wall.

Way too much had happened today.

"At least now I know this isn't a dream."

What had I possibly done to wake up in a place like this?

And what was this gallery, anyway?

The sudden wave of reality almost made me cry, but I held it back.

First, I needed to figure out what kind of world this was.

Which meant I had to log back into the gallery.

Right now, the gallery was the only thing I could rely on.

[A Ridiculously Hot Demi-Human Big Sister Photo] [Image]

"..."

That was the very first post waiting for me.

I froze.

Then, out of pure reflex, I looked around to make sure nobody was nearby.

Even though I already knew I was alone.

"Hmm... it's the top post, so..."

After successfully convincing myself with some shameless mental gymnastics, I clicked on it.

"GYAAAAAH!!!"

I suffered severe internal damage.

***

Title: You Crazy Bastards

Wild Grylls

Where the hell did you freaks even get a picture like that? Are you all insane?!

└ Welcome. Lmaoooo.

└ Ah, another victim today.

└ So? Isn't our dwarf big sister gorgeous? Give us your review.

└ Wild Grylls) Shut the hell up.

└ Isn't this the registered user who posted earlier saying his arm was ruined?

└ His arm's already healed and he's back to work. Lmao.

└ Naturally. A man can't skip his daily routine. Lmao.

└ Men truly live tragic lives.

As expected...

This gallery really was a gathering place for lunatics.

***

"Looks like he's fine after all."

Ash smiled as she watched Wild Grylls completely lose his mind after opening the post.

The elixir she had given him was one of the many gifts bestowed upon her by the Emperor.

She couldn't even remember when she'd received it.

Besides, she had enough elixirs to practically trip over them.

If she ever ran out, she could simply ask the Emperor for more.

"I wonder how the Heavenly Demon will react?"

More than anything else, she was curious about his reaction.

The injury photo Wild Grylls had uploaded had already been deleted by the head admin.

From the Heavenly Demon's perspective, the whole situation would be incredibly confusing.

'What on earth happened for Grylls to suddenly start praising me?'

That was probably what he'd be wondering.

"An ordinary person? Don't make me laugh."

Ash snorted.

Wild Grylls was far too skilled in a fight to be called ordinary.

If he had really been just a normal civilian, Mad Dog would have killed him without him putting up even the slightest resistance.

Instead, he had sacrificed one arm to launch a counterattack.

He had potential.

"And he's entertaining."

The more support she gave him, the more noticeably he grew.

That said, he wasn't the type to simply accept handouts over and over again.

He always tried to repay what he'd received somehow.

It was... admirable.

Smiling with her trademark broad grin, Ash focused on the gallery once more.

Maybe Wild Grylls needed something.

Or perhaps he had another question.

Watching him had become a new source of amusement.

[Guys, I'm Screwed.] [0]

"There it is!"

What was he asking this time?

Ash immediately clicked on the post.

She had no idea what kind of disaster had happened now, but checking came first.

***

Title: Guys, I'm Screwed

Wild Grylls

I need to take a dump, but I don't have any toilet paper.

I'm screwed.

└ Can't you just use leaves?

└ Wild Grylls) I'm worried I'll get a rash from poisonous plants. ;;

└ Then wipe with the monster you just killed. Skin it with your sword.

└ Wild Grylls) Oh! G-good idea.

└ Don'tAbandonTheHero) No! If you wipe yourself with Mad Dog hide, bacteria could infect you!

└ How does the mod even know that?

└ Don'tAbandonTheHero) U-Um...?

└ Wild Grylls) Then what the hell am I supposed to do?

Wild Grylls had encountered an entirely different kind of life-threatening crisis.

Just as he was about to sacrifice his pants...

"He's just as much of an idiot."

Ash couldn't help letting out a laugh.

"Should I wipe with my pants? It's not like there's anyone else here anyway. Dear God... please."

But for Wild Grylls, who had been dropped into the wilderness with nothing, this was a genuinely serious problem.

He couldn't exactly relieve himself inside the cave.

Even if he did, cleaning it up afterward would be a nightmare.

Right now, collective wisdom was his only hope.

The situation was so urgent that he couldn't even think straight.

└ PassingDwarf) I've got a pair of ripped underwear. Want it?

└ Wild Grylls) Yeah, yeah! Hurry up and send it!

└ PassingDwarf) Just so you know, I'm a guy.

└ Wild Grylls) I don't care! It's an emergency, damn it!

└ This guy's the real deal. Lmao.

└ PassingDwarf) You actually sound serious, so I just sent you some toilet paper instead.

└ Wild Grylls) Oh, thank God! Thank you so much!

└ Lmaoooo. What kind of religion is that?

└ Wild Grylls) Anyone who helps someone in an emergency is basically a god.

└ That's the dumbest thing I've heard... but you're not wrong.

Thanks to PassingDwarf's toilet paper, the crisis was finally resolved.

It had been a ridiculous commotion, but the gallery users all came to realize one thing after witnessing Wild Grylls' desperate situation.

└ Grylls really has absolutely nothing, huh? His life's insanely chaotic.

└ At least he's not like those scammer bastards.

└ Poor guy. Lmao.

At the very least...

Everyone now knew he wasn't a scammer.