Chapter 24

Water (2)

All the preparations for drawing water from the creek were complete, but several problems remained.

The first—and biggest—was avoiding the golden poison frogs somehow.

They leaped out the instant I put my hand in the water, making them an enormous nuisance.

The second problem was the depth of the creek.

It was deep enough to submerge more than half my arm.

That meant it would be difficult to secure the hose in place with stones.

I checked the items Passing Dwarf had given me.

'I just need to cover this with the mesh and connect it to the hose...'

I alternated between looking at the gleaming funnel and the mesh that was supposed to cover it.

Connecting the funnel to the hose was simple.

The difficult part was securing it in place.

'Do I have no choice but to dig a shallow hole with the shovel?'

That seemed like the best option.

I carried the equipment to the creek, then went back for the shovel.

Fortunately, I didn't encounter any dangerous animals while traveling back and forth.

The Mad Dog pack had died long ago, and the owlbear had recently been shipped off to the auction house.

I probably wouldn't encounter another predator-class creature for some time.

At this point, insects like ticks frightened me more than predators.

Shhhhhhh—

Once I had brought the shovel, all the preparations were finally complete.

I looked at the fast-flowing creek and slowly got to work.

First, I carefully began digging into the bank with the shovel.

Thud! Thump!

Fortunately, no frogs leaped out.

Still, I kept checking my surroundings between each strike, just in case.

Rushhhhh—

Eventually, I created a space large enough to insert the funnel.

To increase the force of the current, I placed stones around the area I had dug.

The water was flowing strongly enough now.

All that remained was connecting the hose.

I covered the funnel with the mesh, then attached it to the hose.

Instead of cable ties, I firmly secured the connection with metal ties.

Since plastic hadn't been invented in this world, they apparently used iron as a substitute.

'Wouldn't these be difficult to make too?'

The hose was made from natural rubber, so it made sense for it to be expensive.

But to me, these metal ties looked as though they should cost even more.

'Maybe it's because a dwarf made them. Whatever.'

After confirming that everything was firmly secured, I moved to the next location.

One hose wasn't enough.

Because of the distance, I needed to connect several hoses along the route.

"Sluuuurp!"

Just as Passing Dwarf had instructed, I sucked hard on the end of the hose.

When I carefully lowered it, the water began flowing much more strongly than before.

I connected that hose to another one and tightly fastened them together with a metal tie.

After repeating the same process several times, I eventually reached the shelter.

Finally, I connected the end of the last hose to the valve.

The work was complete.

Rushhhhh—

"Perfect. This is perfect."

The water flowed beautifully.

Just looking at it filled me with satisfaction.

Still, the job wasn't entirely finished.

As I had emphasized countless times, this was the wilderness.

An animal could bite through the hose, so covering it with soil was essential.

After roughly two hours of work, everything was finally done.

The fact that I no longer needed to worry about water filled me with pride.

"Kyuu?"

"Oh. You're awake?"

Coincidentally, Wonmo seemed to have woken up.

He stared at me with his usual bright, wide eyes.

I wanted to pick him up, but his body was crawling with ticks.

'Bath first.'

I also needed to clean myself while I was at it.

I bought a large iron tub from the auction house and filled it with water.

After rinsing it several times and checking for debris, I filled it to the brim.

Then I lit a fire beneath it to warm the water.

'I should give him a dewormer too, right?'

I needed to do laundry as well.

I was incredibly busy.

Since things had come this far, I might as well set up a drying rack too.

Simply having access to water whenever I wanted greatly expanded what I could do.

While the water in the tub heated, I made a post in the Gallery.

***

Title: I'm Rich Now

Wild Grylls

(Video of water gushing from the hose.)

I'm rich in water now.

Oh. You succeeded?

LMAO.

Now you can finally take a bath.

Wild Grylls: I'm washing Wonmo first. He had a ridiculous number of ticks.

Passing Dwarf: You finished surprisingly quickly. No problems?

Wild Grylls: Nothing major. Want a mandrake later?

Passing Dwarf: Oh, I'd appreciate that. Straight into a bottle of liquor. LOL.

Wild Grylls: Screw you. You're not getting one.

He'd use such an expensive mandrake to make infused liquor?

What kind of dwarf is this? LOL.

Heavenly Demon: Now that you have secured water, what do you intend to do next?

Wild Grylls: I'm not sure. Once I get a barricade from the dwarf, there won't be much left. Maybe cutting trees or exploring the area?

Heavenly Demon: If that is the case, it may be time for you to learn an internal energy cultivation technique from this lady.

Wild Grylls: I'd be happy to. Let me wash Wonmo first, then I'll contact you.

Heavenly Demon: I shall wait. This lady is looking forward to it as well.

SwordMaster: An internal energy technique is important, but have you been practicing your swordsmanship?

Wild Grylls: I've been studying it consistently. I still only know the basics, though.

SwordMaster: Excellent. Grow strong quickly and marry me.

Wild Grylls: Ma'am?

SwordMaster: I was joking.

That didn't sound like a joke.

Her true feelings slip out surprisingly often.

Is she that desperate to get married? LOL.

Hmm...

As expected, the Gallery was filled with strange people.

Still, there was no denying that SwordMaster's advice was helping me grow stronger each day.

When I fought the owlbear, recalling her posts had saved my life.

Otherwise, I would've died.

"Hmm. This should be warm enough. Wonmo?"

"Kyuu?"

The water in the tub had become pleasantly warm.

Steam wasn't rising from it, but considering the forest's temperature, it was more than sufficient.

I dragged the tub over to Wonmo.

Rather than being tall and narrow, it was wide from side to side to suit his body, making it the perfect size.

"Get in. It's time for a bath."

"Kyuuu."

Could he really understand what I was saying?

Wonmo stared at the tub with his usual sparkling eyes, then cautiously placed a paw inside.

The warm water seemed unfamiliar, because he flinched at first.

Fortunately, once he realized it wouldn't hurt him, he carefully lowered his fluffy body into the tub.

"Kyuuuuuu..."

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

He closed his eyes and relaxed completely.

I chuckled and began washing every part of his body.

Along the way, I carefully applied insect repellent to various places and removed all the ticks.

'Won't this become pointless once he starts roaming around again?'

I would simply have to accept that.

I scrubbed him thoroughly with soap.

Wonmo seemed to enjoy my touch, because he kept his eyes closed the entire time.

Unfortunately, the bathwater became unbelievably filthy.

That couldn't be helped in the wilderness.

It was something I had to endure.

'Still, I can't resist taking a picture.'

I uploaded a photo of Wonmo bathing to the Gallery.

Only his face was sticking out of the water, making him look incredibly adorable.

***

Title: Gave Wonmo a Bath

Wild Grylls

(Video of Wonmo bathing.)

Cute, right? Give me an upvote if you agree.

His face is practically cheating.

That little thing is going to become a tyrant someday?

Just watching this is healing.

Ugh, disgusting.

Your face is more disgusting.

I was talking about the water. Is your face dirty or something?

LOL.

How did twisted people appear even under a post this cute?

I had only uploaded it to show Wonmo off, so I didn't care much.

I was still vigorously scrubbing him when—

"Kyuuuuuuu...!"

Shiver, shiver.

Wonmo suddenly began trembling.

The abrupt reaction startled me.

"Wonmo? Are you uncomfortable?"

"Kyuuuu."

"No? Then..."

What was happening?

Just as I began wondering—

Float...

Something rose to the surface of the filthy bathwater.

It was dark brown, almost black, and round...

"..."

"...Wonmo. Did you poop?"

"Kyuu!"

"GYAAAAAH! Get out right now! Hurry!"

It seemed potty training would have to come first.

***

After washing Wonmo, I learned something important.

Whether it was a person or an animal, washing someone else was incredibly exhausting.

So much filth came out of him that I had to replace the bathwater several times.

By the time it was finally my turn to wash, the sun was already beginning to set.

"Nom, nom, chomp."

"Is it tasty?"

After finishing Wonmo's bath, I dried him as thoroughly as possible with a towel.

A hair dryer would have been useful, but since I didn't have one, I had to rely on the campfire.

I also gave him a deworming medicine.

As expected of an owlbear that ate practically anything, he swallowed it without hesitation.

'Someone gets to eat meat while someone else survives on fasting pills. How unfair.'

I bought Wonmo's meal from the auction house.

Just like that morning, it was monster meat.

Monster meat was the cheapest option available. It was practically useless, so it cost less than ten gold.

I grimaced as I put a bitter fasting pill into my mouth.

No matter how many times I ate one, it was still unbearably bitter.

'My stomach always hurts after eating these too.'

Potty training Wonmo was simple.

He was never allowed to relieve himself inside the cave.

And if he needed to go, he had to give me some kind of signal. Then I would stand guard beside him.

Strangely enough, I couldn't tell whether Wonmo was exceptionally intelligent or whether all owlbears were naturally like this, but he understood everything.

The claim that owlbears became fiercely loyal as long as they were well-fed hadn't been an exaggeration.

'Now that I've roughly finished eating, all that's left is learning the internal energy cultivation technique.'

Sitting cross-legged no longer hurt as much either.

It hadn't even been a week, yet I felt as though my flexibility had improved dramatically.

I wondered whether that was even possible, but decided not to question something beneficial.

Even if I thought deeply about it, I wouldn't find an answer.

***

Title: Heavenly Demon, Are You There?

Wild Grylls

I'd like to start learning the internal energy cultivation technique. Are you here?

Heavenly Demon: I have been waiting.

Wild Grylls: ???

Whoa. The post went up ten seconds ago, but she commented after only two seconds.

Isn't that basically stalking?

That's a little scary.

The Heavenly Demon had often been the first to comment on my posts, but never this quickly.

'Uh... Is she really that bored?'

More likely, this was her way of repaying the favor I had done for her.

How should I put it?

She felt like a veteran player who had finally found a newbie to teach.

Thinking of it that way made me feel more comfortable.

Wild Grylls: You were here. As I mentioned before, please post the instructions as private comments.

Heavenly Demon: Very well. First, sit in the lotus position.

I was just as bewildered as everyone else.

How had she commented the instant I uploaded the post?

Following her instructions, I crossed my legs.

They still ached a little, but the discomfort was now bearable.

Only three days ago, I had screamed like a little girl while trying this.

I had already made tremendous progress.

'Can I finally use mana—or internal energy—now?'

I was genuinely excited.

I was about to wield a mysterious power that normally appeared only in fantasy stories and martial arts novels.

I hoped I would eventually be able to fire palm blasts too.

Palm blasts had always been excellent for keeping enemies at a distance.

Wild Grylls: If I train enough, will I be able to fire palm blasts?

Heavenly Demon: Why do you ask?

Wild Grylls: For ranged attacks?

Heavenly Demon: Do not do that. Only fools waste their energy in such a way.

Wild Grylls: Okay.

He sounds so disappointed. LOL.

Palm blasts are every man's dream.

There are entire wagonloads of corpses belonging to idiots who chased that dream.

How can anyone resist firing a palm blast?

It's “palm blast,” not “palm bast,” idiot.

Then can the Heavenly Demon fire palm blasts?

Heavenly Demon: Of course. What this lady unleashes is no mere palm blast. It carries enough force to summon a tempest from her hand.

LMAO. Her boasting really is unmatched.

At that point, just call yourself a magician. LOL.

A sudden keyboard battle broke out, but I ignored it.

What mattered right now was the Heavenly Demon's lesson.

She seemed to understand that as well and posted another comment.

Naturally, it was private.

Heavenly Demon: If you are sitting in the lotus position, begin with dantian breathing.

Wild Grylls: What's dantian breathing?

Heavenly Demon: Ah. You did not even know how to sit in the lotus position. I shall explain slowly.

Thankfully, Teacher Heavenly Demon explained the concept of dantian breathing.

The area beneath the navel—in other words, the lower abdomen—was called the dantian.

Whenever I breathed, I was supposed to tense and focus on that area.

People sometimes talked about drawing a scream or strength up from the dantian.

Apparently, I only needed to imagine something like that, so the concept itself was easy enough.

She also explained that the middle dantian corresponded to the heart and the upper dantian to the brain, but said those weren't important yet.

'Focus only on the lower abdomen, not the entire stomach.'

I closed my eyes and followed her explanation.

As instructed, I focused on my lower abdomen rather than my entire stomach.

"Inhale... exhale..."

After repeating the process several times, I began to feel something in my dantian.

At first, it tickled.

Then it felt as though something were gradually filling my entire lower abdomen.

I wondered whether this was normal.

Then something unexpected happened.

Whoosh!

"H-Huh?"

The energy gathered in my dantian suddenly began spreading in every direction.

It felt as though the container couldn't hold it and the energy was leaking outward.

I had only taken a few breaths, so naturally, I panicked.

'W-What do I do?'

The energy rose from my dantian, passed through my heart and brain, and then spread throughout my entire body.

Dangerous.

This was dangerous.

My instincts screamed at me.

I was the newest of beginners and had no idea how to control any of it.

Fortunately, after completing a single circuit through my body, the energy calmed down.

"Haa... Haa..."

My eyes snapped open.

A chill ran down my spine.

What had that been?

I panted heavily, unable to stop wondering.

At some point, I must have broken out in a cold sweat, because my entire body felt damp.

My nose felt especially wet.

Without thinking, I raised a hand to it.

"...Blood?"

It was blood.

Thick, nearly black, stagnant blood.

Wondering whether this was normal, I hurriedly opened the Gallery.

Wild Grylls: Heavenly Demon. I followed your instructions, but now my nose is bleeding.

Heavenly Demon: What?!

Even through the comment, I could feel her shock.

She was so startled that she immediately posted another reply.

It wasn't even private, so everyone could see it.

Did he fall into qi deviation just from doing dantian breathing?

SwordMaster: It happens very rarely. When you breathed, did it feel as though the mana stored in your dantian—or mana hole—spread throughout your body?

Wild Grylls: Oh. Yes, exactly. How did you know?

SwordMaster: The same thing happened to me. It occurs when an excessive amount of mana has accumulated in your mana hole, and every breath draws in an enormous amount of additional mana.

Wild Grylls: But I've never had any reason to accumulate mana. What happened?

SwordMaster: Have you eaten anything similar to an elixir recently?**

Heavenly Demon: Aside from the bleeding, are there any other problems? Are you dizzy, or does your stomach feel twisted?

Wild Grylls: Nothing like that. My nose just bled, and that was it.

The nosebleed had already stopped.

I wondered whether the Heavenly Demon was overreacting, but the other users added their own explanations.

SwordMaster: Isn't that an early symptom of qi deviation?

Yeah, it sounds like it. That could've been dangerous.

An elixir...

The only thing resembling an elixir that I had consumed was the fasting pills the Heavenly Demon had given me.

The Heavenly Demon appeared to realize the same thing.

Heavenly Demon: How many of the fasting pills this lady gave you have you been eating each day?

Wild Grylls: I wasn't sure, so I've been eating three with every meal.

Heavenly Demon: Wait here. I shall consult one of my attendants and return.

So is his dick really going to explode this time?

Boom! LMAO.

Wild Grylls: You people are seriously insane.**

Why were you eating so many? One per meal should've been enough.

Wild Grylls: I thought I might not be getting enough nutrients...

But they said they were elixir-grade. Why would you worry about nutrients? LOL.

Did you not trust the Heavenly Demon?

Wild Grylls: It wasn't that I didn't trust her. I just didn't know what “elixir-grade” really meant. Isn't it basically an extremely good nutritional supplement?

So he really was just stupid. LOL.

What an idiot. LOL.

Starlight Princess: The mature mandrake you gave me was also elixir-grade. Couldn't you have compared it to that?

Wild Grylls: I can't eat anything except fasting pills. I'm in the wilderness too, so I burn a lot of calories.

Starlight Princess: That makes sense.**

Passing Dwarf: All right. Repeat after me three times: “I am an idiot.”

Wild Grylls: What are you?

Passing Dwarf: What?

Wild Grylls: I'll make an acrostic poem with that phrase. Give me the opening syllables.

Apparently, I had misunderstood everything.

I felt utterly drained.

At least I had discovered the problem before a major accident occurred.

Heavenly Demon: I have received an answer from my attendant.

Wild Grylls: What did they say?

Heavenly Demon: They said, “Too much of a good thing is harmful.”

Wild Grylls: ...**

She hit him with the blunt truth.

Wasn't that what the Heavenly Demon wanted to say herself?

They had called the pills elixir-grade, so I had assumed that meant they contained a lot of nutrients.

Tears nearly came to my eyes.

Thankfully, my Johnson wasn't going to explode.

The problem was simply that I was an ordinary person.

Apparently, if I had eaten more than ten pills a day, my body might have exploded—not just my Johnson.

They also said that circulating and regulating the energy would be better than merely practicing dantian breathing.

The problem was that I had no idea how to do that.

Dantian breathing was the most basic foundation, while energy circulation was the next stage.

I didn't even understand the foundation yet.

As I wondered what to do, another comment appeared.

SwordMaster: Would you like to use the breathing technique I practice? I was in a similar situation to yours.

Heavenly Demon: This lady has already agreed to teach him. You may leave.

SwordMaster: I believe my breathing technique would suit him better. The same thing happened to me in the past.

Heavenly Demon: Is your breathing technique not a mana cultivation method?

SwordMaster: Yes. Is that a problem?

Heavenly Demon: Western mana cultivation methods are far shallower than true internal energy techniques.

Wild Grylls: Excuse me?**

SwordMaster: It's still better than being unable to begin at all.

Heavenly Demon: A well must be dug deep.

SwordMaster: He'll die of thirst before he finishes digging it.

Heavenly Demon: Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

Wild Grylls: Hello? Can either of you hear me?**

Would you please listen to me?