Chapter 294

Hello, this is Dodongpa. I’m glad to be back with a proper afterword for a completed novel instead of another excuse for a hiatus.

I’m not sure what to say. Now that I’m free from the pressure of serializing, I feel much more at ease. As always, finishing a story leaves me with bittersweet feelings: relief, regret, and lingering attachment.

I think writing web novels brings the joy of growing—not just as a writer, but as a person—with every new installment. Honestly, without that, I don’t think I could have kept serializing for six or seven years.

First, I’d like to talk about The Hero’s Ballad, the novel I just finished. As I mentioned in my last hiatus announcement, the protagonist was inspired by the rapper XXXTentacion.

I drew on the complicated appeal people saw in him: a troubled upbringing, a violent streak, extraordinary talent, repentance, and a tragic death.

So this novel is about the protagonist’s journey to save himself. Along the way, he ends up saving the people around him, whether he means to or not—and, in a way, even the world.

Of course, putting that theme front and center wouldn’t suit a web novel. So I tried to make the story feel like a web novel on the surface, with the excitement, anticipation, catharsis, and comeuppance readers expect, while laying the deeper themes underneath.

That meant a lot of agonizing and soul-searching. Web novels are published daily, so you run out of material quickly. And at some point, you inevitably end up writing live, chapter by chapter.

I regretted choosing such a difficult approach and blamed myself for it. But I also wondered whether having a central theme helped me carry the story to the end, even when parts of it got a little dull.

When I first started serializing, I had only four or five chapters stockpiled. It wasn’t because I hadn’t thought things through. I tend to keep a reserve of material in my head. As long as I have ideas ready, serialization goes smoothly. But once my mind goes blank, that’s when the real trouble starts.

It’s not that I’m lazy. I’m just not good at writing in isolation. My brain feels like it works better when I get some comments and see how readers respond.

So I’ll probably build up a sizeable backlog before I start serializing my next novel. I don’t know if it’ll work out, but I’ll do my best.

Anyway, it was a difficult challenge in many ways. Still, the novel achieved some commercial success, and I’m proud of it. This was a meaningful experience for me.

Speaking of commerce, web novels are a form of commercial art, aren’t they? I don’t know if readers see it that way, but I have a strong sense of myself as a commercial artist. I fucking love money.

But please don’t misunderstand me: I don’t think commerce and art are opposed, incompatible, or contradictory. I believe art dies if it can’t connect with the public, and a product loses its appeal if it abandons its own philosophy or sensibility.

Still, finding the point where the two intersect is incredibly difficult. I think it’s something you have to keep searching for, reflecting on your work and making mistakes along the way. For me, that’s part of being a professional writer.

Of course, I haven’t found the answer yet. It’s as if something I can almost understand—but not quite—hovers around my mind like a mirage. But maybe I can keep writing precisely because I don’t know the answer, because it’s difficult.

Anyway, that’s enough about my thoughts. As for my next novel, honestly, I have no idea what it’ll be right now.

Well, it’s not that I have no ideas at all. All kinds of ideas and inspiration rise up like smoke, and I keep getting excited and then calming down again. So even I don’t know what will come of them.

After finishing a serial, I usually clear my mind. By that I mean I just laze around without thinking about anything. I waste the whole day.

This time, though, I’m doing things a little differently. I’ve been trying to make time to treat my fellow writers to meals or drinks. Even if I’m going to clear my head, I think this is a more meaningful way to do it.

Writing is an incredibly lonely profession. As I mentioned, web novels are serialized daily, so when you’re in the middle of one, there’s hardly any time to leave the house.

Sometimes I see writers juggling YouTube or other projects alongside their novels, and I’m amazed. Where do they get that kind of energy? Are they Saiyans or something?

I’m joking, of course. But honestly, I often wish I had that kind of energy too. I keep getting older, and sometimes I wonder what the point of earning money is…

On top of that, even your family can’t understand what a writer goes through. Friends might say, “Oh, that sounds tough,” but everyone’s busy dealing with their own lives.

Sometimes I meet up with friends and we just laugh over old memories. That helps a lot, of course, but in the end, you’re still on your own.

I’m an adult, so I don’t expect anyone else to understand my struggles. But people in the same line of work are different.

In the end, we each have to go off and fight our own battles. Still, when we have time, getting together and talking about the things only writers can understand gives us a lot of support, even if we don’t realize it.

I’ve never been much of a people person, so I wonder if this means I’ve grown as a person, too.

Anyway, I can’t say when my next novel will begin, but I’ll prepare for it in good health and with plenty of enthusiasm.

To everyone who has read The Hero’s Ballad, I offer my love, humility, and gratitude.

Sincerely,

Dodongpa